How to sustain the un-sustainable

Lately, I've been feeling dragged down by the rat-race. You know how it goes. Work, weekend, work, weekend. Take my kid to a school where she's not really learning anything. Sit in traffic to go somewhere I don't really want to go. It gets old pretty quickly. So, I've been thinking, why not stop? Why not figure out how to live the life I want now, instead of assuming it has to take place further down the line?

It may make me sound like a crazy. The plan is to leave the city, and try sustainable farming. I know, I know. I'm a city girl. Rock and roll to the core. Pretty much a hipster, who loves to go downtown for a pint at Arnie's, meet up with friends on the rooftop of El Guapo for brunch (haven't actually had the time to do that in awhile), buy my Tom's at Dwelling Spaces, etc. We've tried growing some veggies and making our own cheese. We know how to can, and make our own bread. Logan has beehives. Why couldn't we make this how will live all aspects of our life? I think we can. And the more I look into, the more I think it's possible. The financial transition would be difficult. But why not try it? The ability to be independent is precious to me. Freedom and autonomy are worth hard work. I could always drive in to the city for a pint on a Saturday night. Or, maybe my friends would be willing to drive out to have some homebrew on the homestead.

So what do we think? Am I crazy?

day 12: something i never get compliments on

i never get compliments on my music career. i never get compliments on my published works. i never get compliments on my organizational skills. why? i never did these things. they scare me. however, i have been stewing ideas for a book. i've been writing a song here and there. i've made a cleaning schedule for the whole family, which we sometimes actually follow. i sometimes wonder if i'm ever actually going to take the risks involved for me to do these things. ( i don't include being organized. that's not actually risky, just time-consuming.) i don't like rejection. i know, who does, right? i think really i just don't like feeling foolish. rejection makes me feel foolish. i need to start taking some risks. i'm not a natural risk-taker.

but i have been white-water rafting before. that was risky, right? maybe i can do this...

i'll never get compliments for the things i never attempt.