I've been gone for a bit, eh? This last year has been, well, it's been a year. My dad is gone. My dad died last June, and I have been less than okay ever since. I cried in the shower today because I was alone with the feeling of missing him. I miss him all the time. There are a million little distractions, all day, every day, just the business of living. I'm not alone with my thoughts very often. And then I am, and my birthday is this week and it's been sitting in the back of my mind like a block of ice. And I don't want to think about the phone call that isn't coming, the dinner we won't eat together, the super-sappy card I won't get. You know the kind, all cursive and sparkly, and things like "To My Daughter" on the front with a picture of a tree? With the date inside, always a notation of what year this card was from. And there will be no card with a little 2013. I don't think about it. Until I do, then we get the sobbing shower moments. And, geez, this blog post is a downer.
So let's change gears, then. I also got married this past October. Yay! That was fun! Stressful, but also awesome. People are always asking me how married life is. It's hard. It's permanent. It's aggravating. It's beautiful. I love my husband more every day, even on the days I absolutely want to strangle him. And I will not tell you that those days are few and far between. They are most decidedly not. I'm sure he would day the same about me. How terrifying. How humbling.
And so here we are. I'm on the cusp of another year, and looking back, I guess. I'm also looking forward. I've got alot of plans, my dears. You will undoubtedly be hearing all about it. And I promise that next time won't be so long in coming, nor will it be so full of run-on sentences. I may get a bit maudlin from time to time, but, hell, nobody's making you read this, are they?
-sj
