It's that time of year... the holiday time. The time that you're supposed to spend laughing over dinner with your family. Hugging all your aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. Gathering with your church community for choir programs. And I'm depressed about all of it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm super-psyched to decorate, and do lots of baking, and try to con Logan into putting lights up. But all the family and church stuff is sort of a hole in my life right now. I miss it alot.
My extended family on my mom's side is pretty big. (She's one of nine kids.) We used to really do it up for Christmas. We had a progressive dinner every Christmas Eve. You know, appetizer-y things at one house, soup and sandwiches at the next, dessert at our house; a crazy night full of food and family. We even had a guy dressed up as Santa to give us one present early. Over the years, our family has pretty much disintegrated. Brothers and sisters don't even speak to eachother anymore. It's all stupid and petty and heartbreaking, and I want my family back. So, last week, I sent out an e-mail to friends and family asking for addresses for Christmas cards. I've gotten three replies from my mom's family. Including my grandparents.
On top of this, I recently made a decision to leave my church. There wasn't really anything there for my daughter's age group, and I was kinda starting to feel like there was a clique I wasn't in there. Case in point, only one person has contacted me to see why I've left. Finding a church sucks. You'd think, in the middle of the Bible belt, I'd find one in a heartbeat. But most churches are just glossy self-help programs with verses thrown in. Or they're really uptight. Or they keep asking for money. Or they don't have a kids program. You may have figured by now that we're a rather offbeat family. Finding a place to fit in is hard.
So that's two families that I'm missing during this holiday season.
But, what does "family" really mean, anyway?
No comments:
Post a Comment