day 8: someone who made my life hell...or treated me like shit.

for those who might be offended, there is a bit of swearing getting ready to happen.
i have a top two for this one. and it's super-cliche. one is an ex, and one is a baby-daddy.
number one, in no particular order: my first boyfriend ever. he was a jerk-face. he made me feel like i was ugly, stupid, and worthless. this guy told me i was fat. ( i weighed about 100 pounds at the time, if you can imagine it.) he would call me to tell me to work out. he told me what to eat. he told me who i could talk to. (no other guys, surprise, surprise.) he made fun of me, laughed at me for not knowing sexual terms that i hope to God my daughter doesn't know at 14. he also told me i ruined every song he liked by singing along with it. and i believed him. why? because i was young, and he told me he loved me. i didn't know people would say that if it wasn't true! worst wake up call ever. however, to tell you the truth, i've forgiven this guy. mostly. i hang on to the memory because i have a daughter, and i am TERRIFIED that someone might treat her that way.
number two asshole: ellie's dad. he is the biggest bastard in the world. if you've been in my life at all for the last ten years, you might know why, but here are a few highlights: when i called him to tell him i was pregnant, he told me that it just wasn't convenient for him. he didn't even f-ing meet ellie till she was TWO YEARS OLD. and when she was almost six, this unspeakably vile person decided to drag me, my daughter, and our entire family, through what is edging on a 4 year long custody battle. this started with him wanting full custody. then he settled for joint custody; we each had her every other week. then he just quit coming to get her. for months. he said he had the swine flu. then we arranged a setting for gradual visitation, and i had full custody. he was supposed to start paying child support, and make payments on his thousands of dollars of back child support. he picked ellie up for a few visits, then actually moved out of state. on a visitation day. without telling me. and without making a single payment, of course. and now he's back. and he wants to see her again. he says that would be what ellie wants. ellie wants a fucking dad, and you don't know how to be one, asshole.
that's probably enough of a rant. sorry. now i feel grumpy. maybe i need to do some kick-boxing or something.